Same song

Nothing has really changed. I still have low grade fevers, and a bunch of pain when I do anything. I am now officially on the transplant list again. However my meld score is at 12 and I have to have a 15 or higher to be transplanted. So we are still playing the waiting game. So I am just taking things one day at a time hour by hour. I have no long term plans for the summer. It is hard to make plans for something to look forward to “When I am better” because I don’t know when that will be. It could be a few weeks from now or could be more then 6 months.

Lord I am tired of all this unknown, Heal me!

One word Summary

How have I been?
One word Pain. That is what I can say about the last week. This drain into my liver has been a very big pain in every since of the word. It hurts when I move, or take a deep breath, or when I don’t move. It is a hassle to have to always be sure I am not pinching the tube. Life is just one big pain right now.

I have also been having low grade fevers. 99-100.6. It has also been quite a bit warmer and this apartment retains a lot of the heat. (And in the winter it retains the cold :-) So my body hasn’t been feeling the best, I have been going really slow. And for entertainment I have found the fun of watching fluid flow out of my side and filling a bag. :-) I average 700cc in a 24 hour period. When it was first installed it was about 100cc’s or so. It was suppose to dry up and be taken out. Lots of fun let me tell you, right up there with last August when I spent 2 days watching one of my plants grow.

I passed my test

I found out today that the psychological test I had last week, I passed. Or at least no flags were raised that would cause medicaid to deny the request for another transplant. They approved it!

My meld score is now at 12.   I need to have a 14 or higher to be transplanted but I am a lot closer to going through the whole thing again. :-( We’ll see what happens.

Full day of work

Yeah I made it through a long production day. Moving slowly of coarse. But I was able to be there and get several projects done. Monday Denny and I went to Radio Shack (very dangerous) to by 2 things one project for me, and one project for him. We left with me picking up another 2 projects and a partial fix for the project I went to get. I have been working to get ready to upgrade the automation equipment and the cables that I thought would work aren’t so I am having to build replacements but the parts I need are not letting me find them easily.

While we were their we found an inline telephone recorder basically a wiretap which we hoped to plug into our studio phone and take live callers on the air on all 4 telephone lines the TV station has. We have a three line phone designed to do it but we wanted the 4th line. Well the solution almost worked. The wiretap audio picks up the talents voice super loud and the callers audio really week. I need to see if I can have it pickup only half the conversation :-)

The third project was we needed a stereo 1/4“ Male-Female cable extender and of coarse radio shack pre-made ones are all mono great for instruments like guitar amps but bad for what we wanted. Well since it is Radio Shack you can find piece for what you need and build it yourself :-) So I made a 25 foot or so cable, that could plug into the camera intercom so the floor director/camera operator can be on set with the talent and still be communication with the control room.

So overall it was a really good day. Still have the stupid drain slowing me down :-(

Quick Update

Here is a quick update for all the people who like reading my blog everyday and are disappointed that I haven’t posted anything for a while (This is for you Jim Rieckman :-) I am still alive doing pretty good. I have had a great and busy weekend.

I love my friends

Last night after church, and tonight we had a great time hanging out playing Mexican Train dominos (we were so close on a double 15 set we made it to double 3) and cards. It was lots of fun and laughing. I am glad my energy kept up with me. (Well almost) Saturday and sunday were such nice afternoons I wanted to go play outside but I new if I did there would be nothing left that night. I did make it over to a friends pool and stuck my feet in while they swam. Stupid liver drain :-( I would have been in with them if I didn’t have it.

Speaking of the drain I don’t know if it is a good thing or a bad thing when they put it in it was suppose to drain off the infection and then dry up. It averaged 110 cc of bile stuff fluid in a 24 hour period, now it is up to about 150-200 cc of the same stuff every 4-6 hours almost 800+ cc a day :-| is that a good thing or a bad thing? Lord please fix it. I don’t feel normal.

I have thought about setting up a science experiment to see how bile breaks down food or other things (like nails, or rocks, non-edible things) and compare it to other acids, or Coke-a-Cola, since I obviously have a great supply that is easy to come by. One of these days when I am board :-) and I can’t build medicine cup pyramids :-)

Happy Fathers Day

Yeah for Fathers! I hope you have a good day! Especially my Grandpa, sorry I can’t be there in Washington with you.

My Goal has finally arrived!

Today was the wedding day of Ryan and Christina Sadler :-) Yeah!!!

I have been following their courtship since the beginning so it has been my goal since I got the transplant that I have to be well enough to go and participate in the wedding activities. I figured even if I was in the hospital I would “Break out” for a few hours and go to the wedding, Thankfully I didn’t have too. :-)

So today was the day of the Goal I set for myself and I made it! ...well almost. Ryan had asked me to be the best man prior to even getting the call for transplant, but I told him to have a backup plan in case my liver did something funky on me, and I wouldn’t be able to do it. Then about a month ago when I found out I was going to have to have another transplant and there was no guarantee what my health was going to be like. Ryan and I talked and decided it would be best to go with the backup plan. I am glad he did! Cole you did a great job better then I would have done! It also let me be available for what I really like to do :-)

Congratulations Ryan and Christina!

Back at the hospital again

My magnesium was low again. Can you believe it :-) So once again I get to spend the afternoon sitting in a chair waiting for magnesium to drip into my arm through an IV.

So far everyday this week I have had something going on at the hospital. Blood-work -M/W/F, psycho eval -T, infusion -TH

Bye Bye Mom

Today my mom headed back to washington for a short break. Away from me. She wants to surprise the residents of campus towers, so I have to wait to publish this till after she is there :-) I love you mom. But I will do just fine.

I have been able to do more on my own and get around hanging out with friends. It has been lots of fun. So now my mom can hang out with her friends till I get called in for my second transplant :-( which will hopefully, Lord willing, will go a lot better then the first especially when it comes to the recovery part.

Sunday Shoot out

Sunday afternoon I was involved in a shootout. I am happy to report that both shooters were able to walk away, with only minor casualties (dead rechargeable batteries)

The question now is who got the shot off first?

While I was taking this shot he was taking one of me.





Check out more of his pictures preyingjaws

Hello Everybody!

I was so excited the last couple of nights!! Salt Lake City experienced a very big thunder and lightning storm, of course there was also the wind and rain! It as a very impressive storm! I enjoyed watching it from "my rock" (chair) under the protection of a roof (just like Jesus' wings covering me)! :-) As I was sitting there watching the storm and remembering back to the picture of the storm that Micah and I battled back in the hospital back in May (see Fri. May 12 & 24) Since the day I wrote about the storm being a Hurricane... I was reminded by a news report that we are now in the Hurricane season! That looks like the weather forecast here at Micah's apartment also. Just one storm after another! That is a very depressing thought! Micah and I have been listening to music and have found some songs that seem to speak for us and to us! It has been said: music calms a troubled soul. I believe another example of music calming the troubled soul would be King Saul in I Sam 16:23

"Whenever the spirit from God came upon Saul, David would take his harp and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him."


My sister sent a song to Micah called "Praise You In This Storm"... this song has become very special to me also.

The first verse says:

"I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”,
and it’s still raining"...

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm


That about covers where I am today. Couldn't have said it better myself!
And just as the Weathermen don't know how many Hurricanes will reach the shores of the United States during a Hurricane season
we can't project how any storms are waiting to crash in around Micah and I.


I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth


Monday, June 12th
THREE MONTHS FIVE DAYS

As you can see, I didn't get the above part of the message finished the other day so it didn't make it to the Blogspot yet.
Now another busy weekend is over; The Storms of the weekend have past; The sun is brightly shining; Appointments have been scheduled; Plans are being made for the week... It's another day in Utah; AND THE WAITING CONTINUES.

As you can see from Micah's report he is doing a little better. Feeling well enough to have been able to do a few things this weekend. We are testing the waters, so to speak. Seeing how much he is up to now. This is only a test... But for the next day or two we will be performing a few tests... It's too early for the test results yet... but we are very hopeful.

And let us not lose heart and grow weary... for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint. Gal. 6:9

Be strong and of good courage. Dread not and fear not; be not dismayed. I Chron. 22:13

We're hanging in there with HOPE & COURAGE and
I will praise HIM in this storm!

Signing off for another report,
Until later,
Becky (Mom)

Songs

I have been listening to a bunch of music lately that the lyrics have been hitting home with me. I thought I would share some of them with you.

Scott Krippayne- Sometimes He Calms The Storm

All who sail the sea of faith
Find out before too long
How quickly blue skies can grow dark
And gentle winds grow strong
Suddenly fear is like white water
Pounding on the soul
Still we sail on knowing
That our Lord is in control

Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child

He has a reason for each trial
That we pass through in life
And though we're shaken
We cannot be pulled apart from Christ
No matter how the driving rain beats down
On those who hold to faith
A heart of trust will always
Be a quiet peaceful place


Casting Crowns - PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
And stepped in and saved the day
Once again, I say Amen, and it is still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear you whisper through the rain
I’m with you
As your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll Praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
You are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will Praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find you

I lift my eyes into the hills
Where does my help come from
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth


FFH- I'll Join the Rocks
(chorus)
I'll join the rocks with their singing
I'll join the ocean as it harmonizes with the shore
I'll clap my hands with the mountains
As all creation cries for more
I'll never stop, if I'm the last one living
Your song goes on and on and I must testify
I know that I was born to worship
So if all the singing seems to stop
I'll join the rocks


And here are some verses to go with these songs.
(Romans 8:28)
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
(2 Corinthians 4:16-18)
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
(Psalms 42:5)
5 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and
(Psalms 121:1, 2)
1 A song of ascents. I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
(Job 1:20, 21)
20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship
21 and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I shall depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.”

I guess I should also give an update on my health..
Overall I have been doing a bit better. I have been hanging out this weekend a lot more with my friends and family at church. It has been so good to worship God with my brothers and sisters. Today was a good day better then Friday and Saturday (which they where also good). This morning my mom and I went to an early showing of the new Pixar movie Cars. Very good movie highly recommend it, I liked it better then all the other Pixar movies, and I really liked them too. Later we went to Worship ‘06 with Standing Together at the Sandy City Amphitheater, I think I pushed myself to my limits, between the sun, heat, walking and taking pictures I got really tired a lot faster then I was hoping for. It was fun, and I am glad I went. I just wish that my body could keep up with what my mind wants to do. So now I am quite tired and going to be going to bed soon.

Overall I have good days and bad days. Right now we are playing the waiting game. No new news about where we are at in the transplant re-listing process. I am glad that I can give it to God and trust that it will all work out for His glory in his time.

“ If it comes too quick, I may not recognize it. Is that the reason behind all this time and sand. If it comes to quick, I may not appreciate it. Is that the reason behind all this time and sand.” - Song - Painting Pictures of Egypt by Sara Groves – Conversations CD

Something to think about...

The world can have philosophies that save the trees and kill the children

God must feel so hurt that his prize creation cares more about protecting the “Visible Creation” but destroys what He loves most

Becky's Update

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND

When I was a child I use to get Memorial Day and Labor Day mixed up. Somewhere along those years I came up with the idea that Memorial Day was the day honoring our school teachers who had died in action in the past school year (since school would be getting out soon) and Labor Day were those teachers going back to work for the new school year. I haven't gotten mixed up for quite some time now! I have grown up and I do know the real meaning of their names, but I still find myself thinking of them in the same way! :-)

I started a Blog for Memorial Day, but didn't get very far. Sorry
I hope you a good weekend. I kept thinking about the long Holiday Weekend Schedule at Campus Towers. I wished I could have been there to do something fun with you to break up that long weekend. For the rest of you, I hope you did something memorable for Memorial Day Weekend!

Wow! It's now 6/6/06! What happen to the days in-between Memorial Day and June 6th?
Let's look back:

May 24, 25, 26 Micah's last stay in the hospital.
The 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6th Micah has been home from the hospital 11 days now! with 2 of those days in the hospital as an out patient. :-)
So... 9 of those days has been hospital free except for blood draws Mon, Wed, & Fri.
Some of those days have been good and some of those days have been not so good. We have to take each of those days on a wait and see basis and cover them in lots of prayer. The good news is that some of those days have also found Micah back at work again! (That also depends on how Micah is feeling on that particular day.) He has worked anywhere from a couple of hours - to one day last week he worked 6 hours! Today may be another one of those longer days... Praise the Lord!

OK, where do we stand now?
Besides taking it one day at a time with Micah... the doctors have determined that after the latest tests, Micah now has to have another Liver Transplant. Tests have determined a blood clot in the main artery shutting off the blood supply to the Liver. There are only a couple of veins now supplying what little blood is getting to the liver, but that is not enough for the Bile ducts to remain healthy. As the bile duct dies it causes infections which has been the reason for Micah's fevers. He is on a mega dose of antibiotics now all the time to control those fevers. It must be working because he hasn't had a fever now for these 11 days. TYL! However, that is only a temporary bandaide fix along with the drains in his liver. So now the doctors are putting the papers together to send to Medicade for their approval for another transplant. Then it goes before the Transplant Board where they determine who is the sickest and a Meld Score is given to the patient. The sicker you are the better the Meld score number. This can take some time unfortunately! When it gets to that point of the process, however, doctors feel they will be able to get a few additional points on Micah's side to warrant a faster Transplant. We will see! Lord Willing, it could happen!
When you are placed on that Transplant List you are given a beeper and we wait for another doner. That in itself is very sad and we don't wish anyone to have to go through that kind of loss but as a donor recipent we find ourselves very thankful for that kind of giving.

SO, between now and then God could still do a miracle! Micah could keep on going as he is today! Livers are one of those amazing organs that regenerate! Could the Liver sprout a new artery now?? Could the holes in his liver repair themselves?? We were told at the last Angiogram that the hole caused by a abscessed Bile duct that has a drain in right now IS SMALLER than it was!! :-) Could it happen?! Nobody knows for sure! Doctors don't think so, but Micah and I want to believe in miracles, and ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD! As Micah says: If HE could make dust from the earth breathe, then He could make a dead artery or a new vein bring more blood to the liver! Nothing is too hard for our God!:-)

It is still amazing to me how strong Micah has been through all this. I wish I could say I have done as well as him. God is so good! On the days I have felt the most discouraged, God has arranged to put me on the thoughts and hearts of my friends and I have received lots of mail with love and encouraging support and reminders of the prayers being prayed daily for us. I appreciate those cards, letters and e-mails so much! It has been such a help!

This past week I also had some aches and pains of my own, unfortunately. I woke up one morning with some very painful muscle spasms in my neck and shoulder... OUCH!!! The pain was bad enough that Micah and I ended up taking a trip back up to Liberty, UT to our old stomping grounds near Camp Utaba! We went to visit our old friend Doc Harper and his wife Gina!

"Doc Bone Cracker" (as he was lovingly called by my hubby, Doug) gave me a re-alignment :-) and he looked at the injury that has been bothering me since I fell in March because of the snow. He did his magic and the painful spasms have let up now, but the neck is still feeling more like a normal stiff neck at this point. I'd rather have a slight stiff neck than the spasms! TYL! Anyway, I had taken a little break from my computer because I wondered if I was causing some of the problems because I was typing for hours on my computer, looking and holding my computer in my lap. If the spasms are back tomorrow after a day of typing on my lap again, I will know what caused it then!

Well, that about catches you up on life as we know it here in Utah. I hope that will give you an up-date and will show you where prayer is still needed!

This morning in my morning devotions I read:
"Hard times can bring the temptation to give up and become negative, depressed, and angry with God. Life can be difficult, but God will always intervene and His help will always arrive on time. Tonight, purpose in your heart to keep pressing on and rest in His presence. God has promised to deliver you before it is too late!"

Well, Right now I am purposing in my heart to keep pressing on! "God is Good all the time... All the time God is Good!"
Until later,
Your Forever Friend,
Becky (mom)

Change of scenory

Instead of being a couch potato watching TV, I got to watch tv interactively again :-) What I want to see on the TV I can put on for all the other couch potatoes to watch.

90 days...

It is amazing to think that it has been 3 months since I was called we have a liver for you come and get it. The days all kinda blur together after a while. Some things change and some don’t. I keep going back to the hospital with issues in my liver. Today was another day I got to go back for more fun. The drain they put in my liver has been leaking around the site the drain goes in, so I was back in angio and they upgraded the drain again :-(

I am so tired of this up and down in and out of hospitals. I am ready for God to restore me to full health. I am thankful that slowly I have been able to do more hang out with friends, get behind the wheel and drive myself places. This whole ordeal has made me appreciate good health so much more. And that God gives strength to the weak. I would not have been able to get through this without Him daily lifting me up and giving me the strength to do what my mind doesn’t want to go through. Lord I put my life in your hands, take care of me through this procedure, keep me safe. Thank you Lord that I have made it through another day I can praise Your name.

Jehovah Jireh: The LORD Will Provide
Jehovah Rapha:  The LORD our Healer
Jehovah Roi: The Lord is My Shepherd
Elohim: My Creator   
El Elyon: Most High God - Sovereign Over All
El Roi: God Who Sees

Jesus Married?

I have been reading a book “The Da Vinci Deception” credible answers to the questions millions are asking about Jesus, the Bible and the De Vinci Code. by Erwin W. Lutzer. One of the points the book says about Jesus being married I thought was the best explanation I have heard and I thought I would share it with you.

“We might speculate that Jesus could have been married, since marriage is ”honorable and undefiled.“ Since he was a human being -- indeed even a sinless human being -- we can assume he could have married. However, because he had both a human nature and a divine nature we must confess it is unthinkable that Jesus, the God-man, could be joined to a sinner in the most intimate physical human bond. If he had married, presumable it would have been to someone as holy as he -- which severely limited his options!

Of course, someday Jesus will be married. We all anticipate his future wedding. Jesus is now engaged to us , the church- his bride. He would not have been married on earth, knowing that is coming marriage is in heaven. On that day we, along with Mary Magdalene, will be invited to the marriage supper of the lamb, where the marriage is consummated, not in a physical sexual union, but in the most blessed and intimate union of fellowship imaginable. Yes, Jesus will be married --not to a woman - but to all off us who constitute the bride of Christ.”

How is that for a thought to think about that goes against the modern culture.

Another day spent in the hospital

Today I had yet another test, and this time I was checked back in so they could monitor me after the procedure. It was only short stay, but I had a bed, and a room and a meal. So it was just like being back at my home away from home. I haven’t gotten to the point a while back where some will start asking the normal question what is your name, and I can answer that and the next 2 or 3 questions that they would ask before they ask.

Today’s test was an angiogram, the run a catheter up the aorta artery to hepatic artery to see if there is any blood flow through into my liver. It came back negative confirming the previous CT scan the hepatic artery is dead. My new liver is not receiving the blood that it needs to work correctly. I am a long way away from being put back to normal. The solution that the doctors have now is to start over from the beginning and go with another liver transplant.

I don’t see that as my only option, because it leaves out the most important element, God! He is in control of every thing that I have been going through and so he can have solutions that the doctors don’t even know about. My prayer is that he would choose this opportunity to miraculously heal this dead artery and restore me to full health in a way that the doctors can’t take any credit for fixing me, and God can get all the glory. Early, early, on after the transplant and I was fighting with rejection it was briefly mentioned having another transplant, I didn’t want to go that way if there was anyway to save what was already in me, I didn’t want the liver and chance for new life that I was given to go to waste, I wanted what would have been my 2nd liver to go to someone else for their chance at life. There isn’t a surplus of available liver organs, it isn’t like going to the store and just pulling another one off the shelf. I still feel the same way. If I go through another transplant, that is an organ that won’t be used in someone else's life, who maybe hasn’t accept Christ as their personal Lord and saviour yet. But I know that even if God has another transplant planned for me it will all work out for His Glory and my worries, fears and arguments don’t hold any water.

I am very thankful that I am not God, controller of the universe, and I can turn all my worries and fears of the future over to Him and he brings everything together for His glory. It is not about me, it is all about HIM! <><