"The Nativity" movie

This year I haven't had the strength to get out. My mom has been out and about making several trips to the store. Coming back reporting how crazy it is out there and cold. So in my weak state where I have problems just walking around the apartment. I have been glad to miss a lot of the holiday hussull-and-bussull. I consider this year to be the year of quarantine, I don’t want to catch the bugs that are going around right now, so I can be eligible for transplant they won’t transplant me if I get the flu. We have been really careful who comes around or where I go, and then give it all up to God because he is the only one really able to control any part of my health and surgery.

But one thing my mom and I got to do today was find enough strength to go to the theater and see the "The Nativity" movie. They did a really good job on the movie. I highly recommend it. It always concerns me when “hollywood” tells a story how they have to add, or change the movie to to fit there view. But one thing they did a good job on accurately retelling the Biblical account, and the parts that were added didn’t change the story but were in the relm of possibilty, they kept with the history and culture of the time. The only thing I feel that could have been done a little better
Luke 2:8-15
“8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields near by, keeping watch over their flocks at night.
9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.
10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.
11 Today in the town of David a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.
12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
14 “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests.”
15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.””

They didn’t fill the sky with the heavenly host singing Glory to God!. I guess I will have to wait till I get to heaven to hear the heavenly host singing Glory to God! And it will be better than anything man can make up or digitally manipulate.

For me and my mom It was good to get out and it wasn’t like a waste of time, either. I have been wanting to make it to either Church saturday night or a Christmas eve service but it hasn’t happened. So like some start up churches that meet in a movie theater for service, we went to a theater on Christmas eve and heard and saw the Christmas message.

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests.

Happy Birthday Micah!

Well, I am now another year older, and 20 lbs lighter So does that make this a good thing or a bad thing? But unfortunately this year I and far more weaker, and sicker then I was last time. Last year, being a busy time for people I got to go out with a lot of my friends spread out over a week and eat at several different resturants and be sung too many times and got to share "birthday" dessert with lots of friends! This year is a lot closer to home and not seeing as many people, trying to stay as healthy as possible and trying not to spend all my energy in one place. This year I get to spend it with my Mom, first time in maybe 6 years.

Year 27 death of the old Micah, does that mean Year 28 will be the birth of the new and improved healthy Micah? Oh I sure hope so!

But I know: Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
and also: Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

So no matter what happens this next year I know that God is still on the thrown and providing for my every need. So this year will be another great year no matter how scary or what the roller-coaster ride looks like now. With God’s help I am going to climb a mountain this coming year!

Missing people

It is an interesting place to be at in life. When I was in the hospital there are always coming by to “check on you” nurses, doctors, aids, staff. And with each time you have a chance to smile at them and say a few things here and there that add up to them seeing something different in me as a patient compared to others they may have visited moments before. Nurses often made the comment I am one of the sicker patients they have right now but in my room the lights are on windows open, they can see a smile (sorta if I haven’t just woken up) and others who could or would be better then me are in these dark rooms, and they are grumpy, bossy, angry, not very pleasant at all let alone try to spend any time with.

Little did I ever think that the hospital would be my mission field this year. At home I don’t have the same influence, God doesn’t have a line of strangers nocking at my door that I can share Jesus love with. But I can rest and recuperate here that I can’t get in the hospital.

So how can I be mad and upset that my “new” liver failed or that waiting for the next transplant is taking to long. God is taking care of me and using me for His purpose and His glory! Is there any were else I would rather be? No!

Philippians 4:19
“19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

I am tired...

Yes I am tired of being sick and going up and down on this roller coaster ride. But I still have hope!

Isaiah 40:28-31 (ASV)
“28 Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard? The everlasting God, Jehovah, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary; there is no searching of his understanding.
29 He giveth power to the faint; and to him that hath no might he increaseth strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
31 but they that wait for Jehovah shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.”

Or from the Message:
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.

Proverbs 3:5, 6 (NIV)
“5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Romans 8:28
“28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Status (since it has been a while)

I am still in the hospital. God Is still on His thrown in control of this entire situation. I have been learning a great deal of patience, and learning to give God the control of things I want to be in control of, but I can’t be. I continue to trust that All things are going to work out for good.
I have found an interesting mission field that I never expected to go to. Being in the hospital and talking to the nurses and aids about my story, they are amazed at how I can remaining so positive, most people turn sour, bitter and grumpy. I am able to tell them that Christ in me is giving me the strength and patience that I need to endure this long adventure.


My body fat, and muscles are basically all gone. I am a shadow of the man I used to be. I am now down to 160 lbs. and that is still with extra fluid in my belly. Hopefully I will be able to build my muscles back up better then before.

No one knows the day or the hour.

(Mark 13:32-37)
32 “No-one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
33 Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come.
34 It’s like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with his assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch.
35 “Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back--whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the cock crows, or at dawn.
36 If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping.
37 What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’”

Just like the second comming of Christ we are being on standing by waiting and hoping. They are not wanting me to go home because they are watching my labs pretty close so that if a liver comes available they don’t want me to be sick with something inside that would make me not eligible to recieve it.

Lord give me the hope and patience to continue to wait on you!

"What's next, Papa?"

Romans 8 (The Message) 
15-17 This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!
 18-21 That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.
 22-25 All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
 26-28 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Nothing major yet

We still are here in the hospital waiting. Waiting on God!

They might be tapping my belly again today it is very large and uncomfortable again.

One thing I have found from my extended stays is it makes life so much easier letting God give me the strength for the moment, and not doing it on my own. Also my mom has told me so many times, Life is all about attitude, in every situation you can either sour or mellow. Your attitude can become bitter at life at everything or you can choose to take life as it comes one thing at a time.

I just pray that the people God brings into my life today in the hospital that my words will point people to Christ and and be a blessing.

I am still here

This has been probably one of the hardest stays in the hospital that I have had. I am loosing blood somewhere in my body :-( so and the doctors don’t know exactly why and were. So they are giving me more blood and now they are planning a colonoscopy to get a closer look inside. The problem is I am having a very hard time getting trough the bowel preb. My stomach is revolting!
Yesterday (Mon) they tried to start a PICC line on me 4 attempts and all of them failed. Today they sent me to Angio to have it started with a minimal amount of contrast it only took them about 6 pokes and then they were finally successful but my arm is dead with pain...

All of the rest of my veins in my arms are bruised and having issues. They were running out of places to draw blood for labs from. Morning and night and sometimes during they day I have lost track (again) I am probably around 10-15 pokes/misses I think my averages right now have been 2.5 attempts to 1 good poke.

I am just so tired and exhausted from all of this hospital stuff. I know right now I am no longer running on any of my own energy or adrenaline it is all God and His strength right now. Just when I think I can’t take it any more and am ready to give up he comes up with another shot in the arm “You can do it Micah don’t give up just yet” This to will soon pass. Either somebody will come by and say Hi or an e-mail. I try to keep things in perspective “It is not about you it is all about God and it is for His glory that we are going through this!” This is far bigger than anything you can see right now. But in the end many will see the miracle that God is building right now. It is a weird place to be from my position to be standing/waiting for a miracle. He can still miraculously heal me from the inside, bring this second liver transplant and we fly trough it like the first one or even better, or he opens a third option that none of us saw coming but those are the best ones sometimes because we are forced to stand back and say WOW isn’t God amazing!

I spoke too soon

I am now once again back in the hospital. :-( I had a very rough night Saturday with fevers and intestinal stuff. :-( I wish I didn’t need my food processor at times and could just pull the whole thing out. Be like an air fern, and live on just air... Yeah I know it would cause other issues, but I already have issues... Sunday morning I mentioned to my mom that one of my liver drains looked like blood, which worried her a little but after an hour or so it cleared up. Then a couple of hours later later I had blood in my bowel movement and at that she decided to call if nothing else to keep the transplant team up todate, and there immediate response is bring him into ER today. So I have learned docs don’t like intestinal bleeding.

So I am still a pin cushion. 3 attempts to get 1 IV started. :-(

Lord, why am I going through all of this? and how long will it take? Yet I know in my spirit that it is not my place or need to question. I just need to live for the here and now and bloom where I am planted. You will give me the strength to make it over the next hurdle which is were I need to be focussing. I can still trust Your promises that “All things work for your Glory” So it is not about “me“ and my minor discomfort (this to will soon pass) it is all about God and His glory! Not what I have done or overcome but what He has done. He is the one that gives me strength for the next 5 minutes!

An answer to my prayers!

In January The Rock Church announced that in september they were going to plan an overnighter at Camp Utaba in september. When I heard that I was very excited and really wanted to go. My prayer was that I would be healthy enough to go with my church family and friends back to the place I grew up at. 1st time going to camp as a guest from Salt Lake City. I had witnessed it many times from the other end as people got there or as they left but I was never part of the whole adventure.

Well even though I am not doing very well health wise. My eyes and skin are becoming more and more yellow and my belly is retaining more and more fluid (again). My mom didn’t think I should plan on going. What if the hospital calls what if you come down sick, what if your drains leak... what if... etc. Can’t we go up and check into the hotel in the valley... “Mom, you are missing the point of the whole overnighter”, “I have my fears and concerns also, but God has got it all figured out.” I am going to trust that God will stop me if I am not suppose to go. He could easily put me in the hospital or make me to sick to move. I am not going to not go on this overnighter and miss what God is doing at the Rock Church for the off chance that in the same 24 hours that I am gone the hospital will call.

I know God has a sense of humor but even his humor works out for his Glory!

So I went and I am so glad I did. It was a neat trip, and a great time to fellowship with family and friends. The thing that would have made the trip that much better for me would have been if my belly was miraculously healed and it wasn’t distracting me with the normal pains and uncomfortableness.

God is doing some great things here in the Salt Lake valley and I hope that I can be in a place were God can use the gifts and talents he has given me for His Glory and purposes.

<>< One life at a time, One world in our lifetime <><

This is what I want my life to be...

Warren Barfield \ Mistaken

I shouldn't have to tell you who I am
Cause who I am should be speaking for itself
Cause if I am who I, I want to be
Then who you see won't even be me
Oh the more and more I disappear
THe more and more He becomes clear

CHORUS:
Til everyone I talk to hears His voice
And everything I touch feels the warmth of His hand
Til everyone I meet
Sees Jesus in me
This is all I wanna be
I wanna be mistaken
For Jesus
Oh I wanna be mistaken

Do they only see who we are
When who we are should be pointing them to Christ
Cause we are who He chose to use
To spread the news
Of the way the truth and the life
Oh I want all I am to die
So all He is can come alive

Til everyone I talk to heart His voice
And everything I touch feels the warmth of His hand
Til everyone I meet
Sees Jesus in me
This is all I wanna be
I wanna be mistaken
For Jesus
Oh I wanna be
Oh I need to be mistaken
For You
Lord i wanna be mistaken
Mistaken

BRIDGE:
May He touch with my hands
See through my eyes
May He speak through my lips
Live through my life

I want Him to
I want Him to live

Yeah!

I made it into work again today. At least before tonight’s live program started, Shawn McCraney Heart of the Matter tuesdays 8:00-9:00PM then re-airs tuesday 11:00AM, www.bornagainmormon.com. I got to work about 7pm, so I should rephrase my I went into work tonight. This morning I was at home trying to find or conserve as much energy as I could. Tonight’s program went pretty good. Denny directed and I ran audio and graphics in the control room. It was a lot of fun working with Denny again. Anton has been directing most of the programs, which allows Denny to do other things, but since his school schedule has changed and he started back to school, he is not available tuesday nights.

I have gotten out of practice on the technical rhythm, each program and on air talent has their own rythm. It is easy to get out of sync and things don’t go as planned. Viewers say they don’t see the problems and everything looks fine to them. But I know what I want it to look like and it bugs me when I can’t make it how I wanted. But working at the TV station just re-affirms that God doesn’t call the qualified but qualifies the called. He gives us gifts and talents that we can use for His glory, or ours. I guess the bugs are their to keep me humble and show me that God is the one who is in control. It has often amazed me and everyone else behind the scenes how God is using the station and programs to touch peoples lives in a very powerful way. Denny says I can’t get another transplant because the show has gotten so popular and I am needed there so I can only get it if I will be back to work on tuesday night. Depending on God’s timing I might tell the nurse I am going for a walk I will be back in 2-3 hours :-) and show up at the station in a hospital gown. I guess that would only work if I don’t have a dancing buddy attached to me (the ever so lovely IV pump).

It is interesting that Shawn’s 1st program was the same day I got the first transplant. The weekend before I was helping to build the set and computer graphics and promos. Then wham “your outa there Micah“ God has different plans for you. It is just another case and point were I can’t take any real credit for the success of the program. It is all about God and it is His-story. I can just enjoy the privilege of being a part of it sometimes. Thank You LORD!

<>< ‘One life at a time, one world in our lifetime.’ <><

More Fevers and stuff

I don’t really have anything new to say. The roller-coaster ride continues, I go up and I go down. The liver drains that they changed last tuesday and then checked again last thursday, still barely drain anything out of my gut. So I don’t know exactly what it means, they are going to check them again today. The initial thought was they would eventually dry up and then could be pulled. So if that is the case maybe one can come out. But then I have been fighting more fevers again, which usually come because there is infected junk in me that needs to be killed or disposed of. My mon/thurs blood test show tBILI level continues to rise, and so I am becoming more and more yellow. The other disappointment is the “spiders/ants” in my skin are back so I want to scratch my skin everywhere like I did prior to the last transplant.

I am getting very tired of this waiting game, but knowing that God is still on His thrown, and that he has everything under control and all things work together for His glory. I am just one small piece of His story, because ultimately it is not about me. Remembering this gives me strength to sit tight and have patience, waiting for God’s perfect time.

UPDATE:
Went back to angio this morning and they changed both drains. In the past every-time they go play with these tubes, it causes a lot of pain. When the doctor came in getting prepped, he asked if I wanted the lydocain (Local anesthetic). My initial response is oh yeah numb me up good I don’t want to feel it. We talked about it more and the Lydocain stings and burns a lot. Once a track has been established it isn’t as painful changing the tube, since the liver doesn’t have any nerve endings in it. So the doctor talked me into trying the procedure without the numbing it first. He was right! Getting the lydocain is the worst part. There is not much pain at all changing the tubes, just weird pressure sensations that even if you do get numbed up you still feel.

The good news is that the pockets/absess are getting smaller, so they say I should be expect the drains to have less fluid come out. So we shall see what happens next in my saga of liver issues.

Happy Resurrection Day!

Death has no victory over HIM! Yeah Jesus!

Another chance for God to be Glorified

Result are back from the Liver Biopsy, My body is being a punk and not wanting to share real-estate with somebody who is really good for me and is in my best interest to get along with.

My body is rejecting the new liver. :-( I am still at civil war.

The have up my immunosuppressant drugs. To fight back and cause them to play nice.

Lord thank you that all of this will work out for for your glory and that all my friends and family will be part of the Miracle.

Well I guess I am not out of the Red yet

Doctors are still a little concerned that I might have a bile leak so I guess my day is going to get filled with more test.

It brings so much peace of know that Prince of Peace, and Ultimate Physician has his hand on my life. :-)

And besides it is not about me. All of this is for His Glory. :-)

Sunday March 12

Well today started out to be a really good day. The pain meds showed up on time. The blood dude didn't have any problem getting my stuff. I slept pretty good all night considering that I kept getting woke up all the time...

God has a real sense of humor. The nurse that I got today was the same nurse that I had yesterday. So I have the opportunity to shine more for God.

I got up and did a 20 minute walk before before breakfast. I was stiff and sore but still felt good.

I laid back down and I felt a fever coming on. Everything turned super hot.
The nurse came in and took my temperature and said I was at 38.3 but didn't see it as that big of a deal. I didn't agree and so started calling the transplant people to find out if we were missing something. That got more people involved looking at me. They were going to give me an ultra sound and now they decided to give me a CT scan to make sure I don't have a bile leak inside. So I get to drink Gastrografin 30cc off raspberry crystal light in an hour and a half.

The sad thing is they made this decision right as lunch arrived so they said I can't eat or drink anything. I was really looking forward to the chicken broth it was sitting in my room and then they pulled it away :-(

So today my pain has been a lot higher. I have had a fever that I got really really really week and didn't want to move at all. It finally broke just before lunch but my got just wasn't right.

So it has been so far quite an up and down day. But God is still in control and even this is for His Glory!!!!!

Friday March 10

Where has this week gone it is already friday wow... Time is flying. I am doing pretty good I have now upgraded to walks on my own around the floor. I just got back from about 5 minute walk and 40 minute being upright. Wanted to walk farther but I was starting to hurt more. talking to the nurse the last pain medicine I had was at 9 o'clock so I was well pass due and ready to get some. The next thing they are waiting for me to do is start passing gas. I have been burping and feeling movement in my abdomen but not there yet.

God continues to amaze me how he is strengthening my body. And that I can just sit back hold on tight and enjoy the ride that he is taking me on.

Another really cool thing about yesterday I had student nurse from BYU taking care of me and I was her only assigned patient so able to talk to her most of the day about how big and great my God was and how I could see Him at work in my life and how I want to continue to praise Him and thank Him for what he is doing in my. I also got to talk a lot about the Rock church that I go to. I hope and pray that I can continue to be a witness for Christ and that seeds can be planted and that God can give me the words to say, that he wants these nurses and aides to hear. Pray for Holly....


Any one want to take bets/predictions on when I will be discharged?

Thursday March 9th

Really really good day. I am becoming less biconical and more free They pulled 2 of the 3 jp drains that I had attached to my belly after surgery. Along with my wrist IV. I have been able to get up and move around I went for a 15 minute walk around the floor plus several short walks to.

My skin color and itchiness is doing a lot better, Yeah!!!!

Thank you for your prayers!

Php 1:6* being confident of this, that he who began a good work in me (you) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.